My son is two years old. To most, he’s a sweet, smart, quiet boy who doesn’t give strangers the time or day. His normal facial expression in public says, “Don’t talk to me,” lol! As his parent, I fully support his stranger danger. When he does talk, he’s complimented on his clarity and range of vocabulary. He’s polite and uses his manners…
But then there’s the terrible two side. The side of him that drives me and his father up a wall. It’s not the repetitious reply of no; it’s the inconsolable and irrational cries, screams, and body flailing that make tantrums terrible. I can work with a verbal opposition to a direction, but when all of my son’s sense fly out the door, I feel like flying away with his sense too.
At home, the tantrums can snowball and last for hours. My son looses sight of why he originally got upset and everything following pisses him off more. Have you have seen the memes when parents are like, “I wouldn’t let my child run with a knife,” and the child bursts into a tantrum? Whether I was trying to keep him safe, teach him something new, or just get where we’re headed to on time, I need to know I’m not alone.
In public, tantrums are my worst nightmare. Not only is my toddler uncontrollable during a tantrum, I look like his young, black nanny or someone trying to abduct him. People think I’m between 16 – 21 all the time! The l👀ks prove it. Anyways, most calming strategies that parents use at home are limited in public, so that adds to the panic of the tantrum. I think, how can I make this stop the quickest? I think, I need to know I’m not alone. <<
member one of my past blogs?
Dare to Say I’m Afraid to be His Mother<<
e moral to my previous blog was the notion of creating a culture of support through words of affirmation.
I really love my mama friends who support and affirm. When I stop and look around, I’m really not alone. My hubby is my best friend and best supporter; he tells me how great of a mother I am. Furthermore, ironically, my non-mama friends are the most supportive and affirming.
So now I’m pressing the issue of affirmation even further, MOTHERS, please set aside judgements and let’s be here for one another. There are still moms that cut their eyes, suck their teeth, shake their head at other moms when they know they’ve gone through similar situations. A realization I had to accept was that tantrums will occur at every step of the way – infants, toddlers, kids, preteens, teens, and wait for it… adults too. As my child’s mother, I’m there for my child no matter what – even when I’m embarrassed and have no clue what to do next. Moreover, as a mother, my child needs to see that I’m not perfect. I make mistakes and/or struggle but persevere through it.
Raise your hand if you’ve thrown an adult tantrum? No worries, my hand shot up first! I’ve even thrown a tantrum while my son was throwing one lol. Surprisingly, a listening hear goes a looooong way. Most of the time I just need someone to listen to what happened.
i>Special thank you to my mama friends who already listen, affirm, & support. We know we aren’t bad parents because our children throw tantrums; we are like parents. We are good parents. You all show me that when my son throws a tantrum…
I am not alone.