Terrible Friend Syndrome

Parenthood Experiences

I meant to text you. I forgot to call. Minutes and hours keep passing and by then, days turn into weeks, months, and sometimes years. Being a mom doesn’t even rationalize why I struggle to keep up with people, nor does it excuse my terrible friend syndrome (totally a term I’ve made up).

Scrolling through Facebook and Instagram catching up with my friends. Then I exit out and literally miss my friends. Everyone, including myself, has busy lives. There’s always this underlying courtesy I give people to just live their busy lives, especially my own. At the end of the day, I do really, just want to chill at home. Call me old, but it’s the truth. Adulting is full of convoluted schedules and demands that have to be forced to mesh.
I’m a terrible friend though! I think about contacting people and then my son calls for my attention again, so I don’t reach out. I’m one of those people who looses their phone 5 – 10 times a day! “Where’s my phone”, “My phone is on silent”, or “My phone is about to die,” are the daily phrases out of my mouth.  Family knows to contact my husband if it’s an emergency because I probably don’t have my phone near lol!
When I am the one who’s sullen about not talking to or spending time with my friends, then I know I’m the one who needs to change. I do love hard. I do care. 

I’m the one with more time and I hoped to step up my friend game, but now it’s even harder. I’m on a schedule even though I don’t work.

So HOW do I combat the terrible friend syndrome?

1. I do the best I can and surround myself with people who get “it”.  My lifetime friends are awesome!  When we talk or hang, it’s like we’ve never let time pass. Also, being ok with seasonal friends lifts the pressure of being connected all the time to every person in life. A seasonal friend is not a bad thing, it’s natural and sometimes those seasonal friends come back into our lives.

2. Be open and honest with my friends about where I am in life; lifetime friends will more likely get “it“.

3.  Try! Even if I shoot out a quick ‘how are doing’ or ‘thinking of you’ text right before my son shouts, “I need to go potty!” I probably won’t reply right away, but at least the conversation has started.

4. Be present where I am without guilt or regret. When it’s intentional family time, I honor that. When I’ve finally scheduled a time to hang out with friends via play date or me time, I try to honor that. Meaning, I’m not checking my phone while I’m being present.

How do you combat Terrible Friend Syndrome?

Comment below (I really am curious.)


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